Update

Yesterday, I ended up leaving rather late from work which just added on to the perfect day I was already having. I did have an interesting encounter though which made me really think about my body and my weight.
I was on the T heading to Harvard and on came this woman holding a few bags of clothes from Ralph Lauren. She was probably in her late 20's, early 30's and was wearing a wedding ring. She sounds normal, but there was one thing about her that really scared the shit out of me: she was anorexic hard core. I mean, all she was was a frame- no meat, just skin and bones. She looked like a 12 year old boy with thinning hair and an emaciated figure. I thought to myself, "Oh my God! Is this where I am heading?" and I began to get really scared. I don't want to look like a little boy because I was blessed with a female figure. By not eating, restricting, and working out too much... I am going to turn in to this woman. I thought about how an eating disorder can effect every part of your life, until you die and even your marriage- something I really hope for in the future. I am a hopeless romantic and do think that there is that special someone out there for me. An eating disorder would just get in the way of all my hopes and dreams that I have strived so hard to achieve and continue to strive toward. I then realizes how the things I used to call "fat" or "chub" were just things that separated me from looking like a 12 year old boy and being female. The little bit of "love" on my sides was NORMAL and healthy. Why I didn't know that when I used to make fun or think negatively about those things, I am really not quite sure. One thing I do know, is that I definitely don't want to become like that woman and embrace the little extra that I am hoping to gain back through eating more normally and not depriving myself of the things I love.
I went in to Harvard to visit some friends last night, walked around with Mike and his other roommate, David. I feel like I am spending too much time with Mike, leading him on maybe... but I don't want to lose his friendship. I am so open with him about feelings and thoughts and definitely don't want to lose that in someone. David is his roommate who I think is rather cute and totally sweet. Kind of out of my league in a sense. I ended up leaving Harvard at about midnight and going back to my bed. I did get escorted back to campus by the police officer who was so nice.
I woke up this morning and had TOTAL with some strawberries and cinnamon, some blueberries, and coffee. I worked out at the gym for a bit, called my best best bud Abby (who is such an amazing person, by the way) and soon we are going to sit out by the river and spend some quality time together. We are roomies for next year, along with my other best friends in college Janet and Liz. I heart all of them!!! I got changed in to my bikini- sexy little white number- and am just waiting for Abby to call.
A note about Abby: she really is an amazing person whom I look up to so much. She has the best outlook on life that I strive to have. I feel it is important to have people in your life that you really admire, and then make them your friends so that not only do you have a good friend, but also someone that inspires you every day. She is definitely that someone for me. I wish I had such a positive, healthy outlook on everything- like Abby. After talking with her, I always feel like I should be more cultured: take a trip to wine country in Italy, sip high tea in France, take a cooking class, sew, or take pictures of the beauty of life. She really does see beauty in life- a goal that I currently am working on. I love having conversations with her because I learn something new every time. Even her laugh is so genuine.
The phone just rang, and it was Abby.. Tonight I am going out to dinner with Mike, should I tell him I don't care for him that way??? Dilemmaaaaaa.

until later :)